Being awkward is not just unique; it's normal

I know a girl named "Faith" who wrote a book called "Being Awkward." Honestly, I felt a little awkward about writing about "Being Awkward."

But then I keep going back to the first words that came to my mind, after reading it to my kids for the first time, and hearing my 4-year-old daughter say, over and over, "Read it again!"

I keep thinking: "Geez...how normal!"

And how appropriate.

And how smart.

How appropriate for an 8-year-old girl to tap into the emotions of many others - kids and adults - who feel like they just don't always fit in.

How smart for an 8-year-old girl to connect to a world of fear, a world seeking comfort in the face of tragedy, even if her book is intended to be more of a young child's innocent metaphor than direct social commentary.

How normal for an 8-year-old girl to know, or to understand the kinds of feelings I've had lately as I've watched so many people struggle with money, work, marriage, war, parenting, substance abuse, health care, homelessness and general malaise.

In a lot of ways, awkward is the new normal. Actually, when you think of it, maybe Faith's onto something here, because the idea of being awkward, accepting it for what it is, and finding comfort in that fact ain't so new.

Indeed, this is a book that can teach others to trust themselves to do what's right, and to find happiness, even if it doesn't meet the social norm.

I saw it my own family, 30 years ago, when my mother and father fought like cats and dogs. They fought over money and just about everything else, and we felt "awkward" because we couldn't do anything about it.

We just wanted to be normal, or some variation of it, even if it didn't fit the Brady Bunch's definition of it.

To us, being normal meant being comfortable, and accepting our fate, whatever it may be. That's what Faith's book is about, really.

Faith is actually 17 now and the book was written in July 2001. It was never actually published by a large publishing house, though it should be.

It was part of a Metuchen, N.J. library workshop, and the library kept it in a pile of similar books that have been written by children over the past 40 years.

Most of the books were about "what I did on my summer vacation." This one, obviously, stuck out, and not just because I knew the person.

It stuck out because the theme of living with who you are, dealing with change and ultimately finding comfort with your life - whatever the circumstances dictate - is timeless.

Indeed, if the book were published, I would suggest a subtitle:

Finding Normal.

In the book - which she dedicated to her little brother, Julian - she talks about how a girl named "Awkward" felt "normal" - normal, because she lived in a house out in the West.

She lived in a farmhouse, she said, "although I don't have any animals, not even a horse."

One day, she thought of going to the town pool. Problem was that the rural town didn't have one. It didn't have a mall, either, so that idea, too, was kaput.

A bird flew her to a suburb, where she could have access to all these neat things. But here was the catch:

"I had a great time at the suburb surrounded by water except when I realized my hair was sticking up, a bow on my pants, a zipper on my shirt, my face was mixed up."

"I WAS AWKWARD!!!"

All she wanted to do was get back to "normal." She squeezed a flower and out came a watermelon. She ate it and went to sleep; when she woke up, she was living in the same farmhouse again.

Yes, that farmhouse - the one without the horses. How normal.

Then, just above a crayon-colored picture of the sun, and a girl with an orange face yelling, "Yeah!" came the poignant last line:

"I learned to like what I have."

I've known Faith's family for many years. I've known her father since I was in elementary school, so I was there when this family came together and grew. I've felt as close to this family as I've felt with any family.

This is a smart family, and I've learned so much from them as I've watch them expand, and give birth to two children - Faith being among them - who are very much a reflection of their parents: Smart, funny and idealistic.

But there's a trait that stands out, one that sticks to me like glue, because it's a common bond we share.

In a way, they're awkward, though I prefer the word "unique."

Or maybe it's just the right kind of normal.

They take risks and chances. They don't listen to the most popular music. They don't try to fit in with the popular crowd, whether it exists among kids in a high school or among adults in a suburban, bedroom community like Metuchen, N.J.

They define their own normal. You may call it awkward. I say it's just right.