My great uncle, the wallpaper hanger

I first learned I had a great uncle named Frederick when I visited my family's Hillside, N.J. cemetery plot last November. His tombstone had been pulled from the ground and tossed to the side. The family headstone had fallen on the ground, and was laying on its face.

It was like standing outside an abandoned restaurant and trying to figure out what was on the lunch menu. I had little hope that I could draw anything from this decrepit scene.

But a visit to the graveyard office, and a death certificate from California gave that ugly scene some meaning. In fact, it was downright symbolic.

At the graveyard office, I learned that Frederick died of gas asphyxiation with his mother, Lydia, on Oct. 4, 1928. Their deaths weren't ruled a suicide, though the circumstances seemed strange and suspicious. Five years later, Frederick's brother, Edward, died the same way.

I later learned that Frederick led a rather undistinguished life, working for his Civil War veteran father as a "wallpaper hanger" and as a clerk for his brother, Edward, who was my great-grandfather.

Then, three weeks ago, the death certificate for Frederick's oldest son, Clarence, arrived in the mail - three months after I asked for it. The informant was his son, Donald. We talked, and the flood gates opened.

I learned that Frederick was married. I learned that his wife, Matilda, up and left in 1915, taking the three children to California and leaving Frederick behind, alone.

I talked to Frederick's great-granddaughter, Sharon Winans Pearson. In that conversation, I learned what I long suspected. Frederick, most likely, was another symbol of the long history of mental illness in my family.

Sharon did a great job in filling in the holes in Frederick's life that came as no surprise. Here is what she wrote:

Matilda married Frederick Winans on June 29, 1892. Frederick's father was of English-Dutch origin and his name may have been Winant. Unfortunately, Frederick was not home very much. Rumors tell us he had an alcohol problem. Therefore Matilda was on her own to raise the three children:

1. Mabel, born 1893,
2. Clarence, born 1899, and
3. Merrill, born 1907.

To support the family, Matilda ran a two-story boarding house in Elizabeth, N.J. Although Matilda may not have visited church on a regular basis, she did attend certain events. Merrill remembers his older sister helping him get dressed and ready for these special occasions. Family documents show Matilda was baptized and married at Christ Church (Episcopal), in Elizabeth.

In the early 1900's it was customary for wealthy women to have a seamstress come to their home for a period of time, and live with the family. Matilda, who was an excellent seamstress, was able to secure jobs of this type and would stay with families for extended periods. Young Merrill, who was probably under the age of eight at this time, accompanied his mother. Many of these homes had beautiful gardens and Merrill would often be sent outside to play. As he wandered along the pathways he began to develop an interest in planting his own garden. Later in life Merrill would excel as a landscape architect.

It was not uncommon for young boys to be at the train station (see above picture). One could find out the latest news, pick up the family mail, and watch travelers from far away places bustle back and forth across the streets. One day Clarence pulled Merrill in a wagon along the busy street, when suddenly he stopped and pointed toward a man in the distance.

"Merrill," Clarence said, "That is your father."

This is Merrill's only recollection of his father.